Forgiveness Algorithm is a practical approach to releasing resentment, healing emotional wounds, and cultivating compassion in everyday life. How many of you remember something bad that happened to you when someone angered or irritated you and made you feel so upset that you wanted to hit that person?
How many of you does remember that someone bad happened to you, when someone angered you or irritated you and made of feel like too pissed that you wanted to hit that person or how many times does this feeling of sorrow came to your life because of someone, maybe most of us remember almost all the incident of this type happened to us.
On the other hand try to recall something good done by someone or someone bring smile on our face such incident we tend to forget not all but a few and we can recall only limited incident because it is easier to hold grudges than being grateful when it comes to holding grudges than keeping something in mind to be grateful to.
Our mind is more into holding grudges than keeping good memories. And this is not by default it is us who has trained our brain to be like that, we prioritize the emotions or feeling like anguish, envy more in daily life we even practice these emotions more often rather than good one like gratitude, compassion etc, and according to many mythological context it is clear that we are the supreme lord of our mind it will act as per our guidance, we can take a reference from the geeta and think it like this, suppose our five organs are the horses, the body is the chariot, the mind is the Arjuna and the You the unique you, the pure consciousness you is the Krishna who keeps guiding Arjuna, hence you need to keep guiding your mind at every stage will have to train it in a way that it process and cultivate good things, now going back to holding grudges, holding grudges is easy and painful both because it make a person very pathetic and miserable from within, it is same as a pond is not get cleaned and all the garbage are still there for a longer time.
Hence, not holding grudges is advised not for others but for yours well being.
Importance of the Forgiveness Algorithm
The act of forgiveness comes from compassion. If you are compassionate, you need not put an extra effort towards forgiveness; then forgiveness will no longer be an act of some big deal; it will automatically come from within.
Compassion opens a door to a secret world where you no more attached with anger it is just an emotion which comes and goes it passes through you and you remain steady without loosing yourself it is the place where a grudge free life starts it is the place where no resentment can make it’s permanent house we just need to keep practicing compassion and forgiveness will automatically flow, it is not that anger will vanish from you but now you will be able to get angry with awareness, your anger will not blind you, in starting the anger will be leading the forgiveness, after sometime it will come parallel to forgiveness and finally it will come to the point where anger is always lower than the forgiveness th is is very important that we reach this state and start practicing forgiveness without putting much effort in it. Once we start practicing gratitude, we experience the following improvement in our life:
- Stress reduction: By practicing forgiveness, one can release stress and improve their life quality because the grudge or resentment that you were holding was like a burden on your mind, and it was reflecting in your daily activities.
- Increase in energy level: By practicing forgiveness, you start feeling light and fresh, and it improves your energy, which is clearly visible in your actions.
- Better understanding and connection to surroundings: Forgiveness is not something that just happens at the surface level; it is a phenomena which penetrate the soul of both persons. There are many stories where a person once forgiven turned from bad to good. By the act of forgiveness, both persons build a deep connection supported by faith and trust.
- Better functioning of Mind and body: After releasing the resentment or grudges, our body gets rid of unnecessary struggle which our mind was doing with itself, and hence the exhaustion reduces. If our mind and body are not exhausted, then we will definitely become more productive.
- Improve social life: By practicing forgiveness we make people our friend and instead a repulsion acceptance comes to us which is very good for making a social circle, because if we are carrying any grudges and interacting with someone either the same person or the other our body will keep repealing people because of it’s defence mechanism, our mind and body gets active if it sees any type of similar situation may arise and this is very mechanical it does not use the discriminatory senses, you might have seen many people who avoid socializing or they are awkward when they meet with new people, they struggle to make new friends, so basically they are carrying some old grudges towards any person incident or place and this resentment is not allowing that person to enter completely into new relation situation activity etc.
- Better connection with nature: Forgiveness opens a door in your heart which is going towards compassion, and then towards nature consciousness; this will make a person who fills the room with good vibes. Whenever you interact with an animal or human, they will feel happy and excited to meet you. There is a very beautiful anecdote that the path which Mahavira used to take, all the plants used to bloom and swing with excitement; it may be just an anecdote, but how beautiful it is to understand the art of compassion that a compassionate person is well connected to nature.
Steps to let resentment go and start practicing forgiveness.
- Set your Intention: Letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness will not be easy; it takes a lot of energy, hence you must set your intention and make your willpower strong to go through the highs and lows of emotions. In starting it may feel self-annihilating because it is more like killing your bad habits of holding grudges and taking revenge; it is something that you are going to do against your mind and body, and hence lots of energy and willpower are required.
- Keep a watch on the ego: Our mind is very tricky and so our ego is, when you were holding grudges the ego used to justify it now since you start practicing forgiveness which is almost an antidote of ego, hence just to keep the ego survive our mind makes loop holes in forgiveness and compassion as well, it will start telling you that since you have forgiven someone or you practice compassion you are better than others, you are a pure soul and the world is lower than your standards because they are not practicing forgiveness or they are not compassionate hence they are bad, again the same thing happened the mind has just developed the discriminatory wall, which is not good for us in the journey of practicing forgiveness or compassion.
- Cultivate forgiveness: Forgiveness is neither a skill nor a by birth trait in human this is something which need to be inculcated or cultivated and for that we just can not start practicing forgiveness for this we need to take a path which is sustainable and it leads us to the real forgiveness where we are doing it out of habit effortlessly but not just to be a good or kind person, hence for that we need to take care of few things, first of all we should start observing things from all perspective, if a person hurts you instead of just getting angry and then saying okay it’s alright I forgive you because I am practicing forgiveness, no in this case you should just feel the person’s emotion try to understand the reason he/she did this to you, you will understand more about human emotions and how these things make a person do things which they do not intend in most of the cases. After understanding all these, if you forgive the person, then you can say you are really practicing forgiveness. And if you practice forgiveness like this, it will inculcate into your actions, words, and intentions; it will naturally and effortlessly flow from you, and also it will sustain with you.
- Revisit the memory grudges: Before you start practicing the forgiveness it is very important to get rid of all the past grudges and resentment, hence for this revisit all the past moments where something made you anxious and you still feel the rage of that, now feel the rage and then the reason for that after that try to understand the reason behind the action of the person which upset you, after analyzing everything just drop the anger and move on simply just make a peace treaty within yourself for all those moments and move forward.
- Take a reality check: Once you start practicing the forgiveness or compassion you must keep testing yourself that is it really happening inside you or just into your brain, for that put yourself into the situation which may make you anxious and in that situation try to see your emotion and feel it just be the observer and observe how your mind and body is acting to it, is it truly coming from within or your mind is just trying to show that you are practicing forgiveness, now you no more hold grudges but at the end of the day you find yourself with that burden of resentment and this type of burden is heavier than that when you were not boasting of practicing forgiveness hence it is very important to make sure that this act of forgiveness is in you at all words, actions and intentions. By continuous check, you will reach the state where you are effortlessly following it.
Conclusion
From the above, we have understood how important it is to let go of resentment and how to reach that state; hence, we should start to prepare ourselves so that in some time we will reach a state where compassion and forgiveness will flow from within without any strategy or planning.
After Reality Check
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